Multi-tasking self-starter seeks sugar daddy

It’s official. I’m losing my job. I sort of can’t believe it took this long, frankly. I signed up for a five-month gig nearly three years ago and well, I’m still here, putting together stories on lawn alternatives and editing The Top 10 Seaside Hideaways. Until August 6, when I am kicked out of the cozy nest that is Sunset Magazine (yes, people really do drink wine at lunch and subsist on organic produce).

Except for the whole eating canned beans for every meal part, I am kind of looking forward to my life as a lady of leisure. I’m hoping it will give me time to decide what to do next. I feel a big mid-life crisis coming on. I want a new career. I want to move. I want to reinvent the rest of my life. Magazines don’t hold the allure they once did (they are sort of like the 21st century buggy-makers--soon to be obsolete). Plus they are never actually written for people I believe exist (if you coordinate your table linens to the season, buy $5,000 purses, or consider $250/night a bargain hotel, feel free to alert me to your existance).

I was thinking of becoming a nurse midwife. I’ve always really enjoyed all that pregnancy, vaginas, lactation stuff. But then I saw this horrible You Tube video of a pelvic exam and decided maybe it wasn’t for me. I had no idea it was going to look so rubbery.

Aside from my interest in hoo-has, I also like books, gardening, fixing up furniture I find on the street, travel, being my own boss, not sitting in an office, photography, laughing, staring off into space, overeating, drinking too much wine, reading Dr. Seuss books in funny voices, analyzing other people when they are not in the room, walking, sailor pants, watching So You Think You Can Dance, sunshine, babies, and the planet.

Unfortunately I have no mind for making money. None. I haven’t the foggiest ideas how people make money. But if all of my interests happen to coalesce into the perfect career in your entrepreneurial mind, please do let me know. Sugar daddies also welcome.

Until I hear from you, I’ll be applying for this. And this. And probably also this. Cause, you know, I’m a people person.

Kitchen chairs makeover (or another reason I'm not getting much writing done)

Remember that date I had with the Mister?  And the trip to the upholstery warehouse?  Well, I'm ready to debut the new dining room chairs we found on the street, and which were 100% inspired by these beauties I saw on Design Sponge and then again on our very own Sunset Home blog.   

But first, a breakdown:

Cost: chairs-free, paint and painting supplies-about $30, fabric-$22 TOTAL: $52

Time: a week, but if you were more industrious and say, maybe laid off and single, you could get it done in a weekend (including dry time).

Unanticipated side effects: numb right index finger from prolonged depression of spray paint button.  Sudden and acute need to buy new kitchen table and paint the walls. It's never ending, really.

BEFORE

Ok, so maybe they don't look so bad here but let me 

just say that the maple is fake and the fabric was filthy.

And—wait for it, wait for it.

AFTER

Yes, we did all four chairs.  I just got sick of posing them.

What we did: sanded, primed with a spray primer (1 coat), painted with Rust-Oleum American Classics in Blossom White (3 coats), covered seat with a Schumacher fabric remnant. And, voila!

The Lazy Woman's DIY

One of the hazards of my job is the intense house envy that can develop from day after day of looking at beautiful houses with gorgeously landscaped yards.  Since doing anything major like adding on, or redoing the kitchen is out at the moment, I've become a little obsessive about the DIY projects.  I steal all my ideas from people more clever than I am, then I execute them in this frantic, haphazard way, hoping for the best.  I am, if nothing else, an it-will-do-ist.

My latest project is sort of a house-wide decluttering and prettying-up which includes creating a separate and hidden play space for the twins in our tiny living room and the makeover of our little hallway.  Check it out.

Before

Here's what I did:

1. Removed coat hooks from the outside of the doors and replaced them on the INSIDE to hide coats and bags.

2. Sanded (badly) and painted (also badly) the doors.

3. Applied Japanese paper cut to fit insets.

And, voila!  I still need to do something about our phone area/key rack, and paper the door leading to the garage, but things are looking better, no?

Check out the September issue of Sunset for step-by-step instructions for this and other wallpaper projects.