Happy New Year! I hope the first three days of 2010 were awesome. I hope you were one of those deservedly smug people up before 6 on the first day of the year, doing your calisthenics and looking forward to that big, refreshing glass of beet juice you like to reward yourself with on special occasions.
Me? I wouldn't know much about those first three days. I did see 6 o'clock on the first day of the year. Just the pinkish hint of it before I dropped off to sleep, the glitter from my cheek making a smear like the milky way across my pillow.
That's right people, I, 39-year-old, type-A, mother-of-two-with-mini-van shook it all night long.
Seeing as I value sleep over almost all other things, it's been, um, maybe 20 years since I've stayed up all night. Maybe 22.
I blame the karaoke machine, which functioned as a sort of vortex, spewing out tunes from the'80s and sucking us right into the void. I totally ruined my hairdo singing AC/DC with a butch lesbian named Five Star. It was that kind of night.
Anyhoo, I'm finally back to normal, after three days of catching up on sleep in fitful bouts between building block towers, reading The Day I Became a Pirate, and dressing and redressing Maggie's new doll, Gingerbread.
I was so tired I would have gladly slept here
I'm going to skip the resolutions this year because I've made enough lists lately and, as everyone knows, resolutions exist to make you feel bad about yourself (here are last year's. I succeeded with number 2). Resolutions are the pursed-lipped headmistress of your own little uptight English boarding school of the mind. They tsk and cluck and whap you on the back with a ruler for not sitting up straight. Who needs them?
I also have no real plans. I'm going to start blogging about fat people on TV here starting this week. I'm going to celebrate my 40th in Mexico with a lot of friends and family in February. I'm going to take my kids to the snow (see #13). I might attend a clothing swap at the end of the month. Maybe I'll finally paint the bathroom door that we scraped fours years ago.
This is certainly a worthy resolution
But, really 2010, I'm open. Bring it on. Keep it coming. Have at me. All I ask is that you play fair. And keep me away from karaoke machines.