Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick

from HERE

First, let me just remind you of how much I love comments. Comments are better than brownies or endless fields of mustard in bloom. Better than airshows. Better than shoes you buy at Nordstrom Rack because they are so cheap. They are better than being stopped by a stranger and told you look like Kate Winslet. They are better than making every green light and better than those new 100 calorie York Peppermint candy bars.

They are not better than trips to Venice or the way the tummy skin of my kids feels. They are not better than renting a house in Stinson for the weekend and cooking dinner with a bunch of friends. They are not better than this conversation I had with Oliver on the way to school this morning. Still, keep 'em coming.

OLIVER

What school does Georgia go to?

ME

She goes to big kid school. She's a second grader.

OLIVER

What's a second grader?

ME

When you are six you are a first grader, when you are seven you are a second grader, when you are eight...

OLIVER

And I know another important one that is sharp! A cheese grater!

I blame the Mister for what is obviously a genetic trait toward puns.

Good people doing good things

If I looked better in a feed cap and boots I'd be a farmer. In the meantime, I'm content to track chicken shit into the aerobics studio at my gym on the soles of my shoes and leave the hard stuff to these good people.

GH_Peek in Progress from The Greenhorns on Vimeo.

If you want to help get this film finished, go HERE and give them some moolah.

What a difference a year makes

I am constantly amazed at Maggie's and Ollie's pace of growth. If I could learn and develop at even half their rate I'd have won a Nobel Prize by now, in multiple categories. I'd also be, like, a thousand feet tall with really big boobs.

This weekend we went to the pumpkin patch. It's one of those slightly tawdry places where the jumpy houses are filthy and the guy filling up the $2 balloons has a cigarette dangling from his mouth. But, the kids love it. Despite their rapid rate of development, their snob reflex hasn't kicked into gear yet.

2008 Oliver

2009 Oliver

The first thing Ollie did upon arrival was go running excitedly up to the wooden cutout of Homer Simpson shouting, "Dad! Dad! This is the guy who loves beer!" He then proceeded to have a conversation with wooden Homer that went something like this. "Mmm, beer. Woo hoo!" Which is more or less the sound that the Mister's Homer Simpson bottle opener makes.

2008 Magnolia

2009 Magnolia

It was such a change from the year before when they were only two-and-a-half and still wandering the world in a sort of babyish daze. Now they're all kid-like and confident. Now they take those jumpy slides by storm and approach really, really famous celebrities to talk about malted, adult beverages.