I know, it's hard to feel too sorry for her
Remember this? Well, it seems to have all come toppling down quite suddenly and with very little forewarning. For those of you who are thinking "I knew it" I say, shame on you, you old coots.
It is for me a reminder of just how awful breakups are. I mean, is there any pain so quite so filled with self-recrimination, shame, regret, and longing? It is exquisite in its way, but not enough to make up for the nausea and crying-induced sinus pressure.
Is it totally callous to say there is a bright side to all my friend's sorrow and that that bright side is that I get to go to Italy to help nurse her back to her old self and write and drink wine and swim in the blue, blue Mediterranean Sea? I suppose it is. But, there you go. Callous or not, it's a pretty good deal for me. Ah, love.
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Oh how I hate the consuming horrible pain of a break up. I wonder if it feels any better living in Italy? With great red wine and the appreciation of strange Italian men?
this is SO unfair and i totally overestimated you, samantha. you took the ONE, the ONE SINGLE picture of me having a proper vacation in like 10 years and put it up there as if that were my REAL LIFE. why don't you put up a picutre of me how i REALLY am? (ie, drinking white wine alone on a Saturday night while translating underwear descriptions for Emporio Armani)? or that pathetic scene at the bar i told you about when i wept "NO MAN WILL EVER LOVE ME BECAUSE I'M JUST TOO MUCH" into the peanut bowl? to HIM?? (gosh, it sure sounds like i'm drnking a lot).
that said, it is probably the only picture you have of me from only a back-view. privacy issues and all that. which all gets shot to hell when i post this and people see my face.
anyway, for all those out there who knew the thing was BOUND to fail because it went so fast, i say two things in my defense:
1. even my VET thought we'd be married by September. he told me he had been willing to bet "three-months' wages" on it.
2. i still believe that real love arrives like a blow to the skull and can last forever. just not for me. never, ever for me.
2.
Even for you, H. Even for you.
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